i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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