OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
