he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
