Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
