Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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