I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
