Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
