is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
