In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think my moral compass just broke
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
