My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
