dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
