so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
