I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
