worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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