Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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