You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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