How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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