I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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