pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
