why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
where are my eyebrows?
i out mim tonsoeep
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