I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
