But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
