There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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