..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
