Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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