I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
false alarm, still single
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
