If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
