that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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