Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
