A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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