you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
