I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Congratulations! We have a period
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
