Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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