Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
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