Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
