I skipped work to stalk him.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
