also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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