man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
