After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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