He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
