I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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