You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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