It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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