I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
