why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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