id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
