I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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