you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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