let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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