This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
