i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
